The 5 stages of dissertation grief (and how to survive them).

[BenShow]

Writing a dissertation is basically a prolonged grief cycle. You're grieving your old life, your free time, your social skills, your sanity. Here's how it breaks down:

Stage 1: Denial
"I have plenty of time. Two years to write? Easy. I'll just write a chapter a month and have summers off. This will be fine."
Reality: You spend 6 months "organizing your notes" and "finding your voice."

Stage 2: Anger
"Why did I choose this topic? This is stupid. No one cares about this. My advisor is useless. The library doesn't have the books I need. The formatting requirements are ridiculous."
Reality: You yell at your computer. Your computer does not respond.

Stage 3: Bargaining
"Okay, if I just get this chapter done by Friday, I'll let myself have a social life again. Please, universe, just let me find one more source and I'll be a better person."
Reality: Friday comes. The chapter is not done. You bargain again for Sunday.

Stage 4: Depression
"What's the point? I'll never finish. Everyone else is smarter than me. I should just drop out and work at Starbucks. At least Starbucks has health insurance."
Reality: You cry in the library bathroom. It becomes your second home.

Stage 5: Acceptance
"It is what it is. I'll finish when I finish. Done is better than perfect. My self-worth is not tied to this document. (Also, I'm too deep in to quit now.)"
Reality: You actually start making progress once you stop panicking.

Where are you in the cycle? I'm bouncing between Anger and Depression with brief moments of Acceptance when I've had coffee.

 

[ViVi]

It's like Acceptance but with a deadline so close that you either finish or die trying. I'm writing this instead of finishing my conclusion. Help.

But honestly, the grief framework is perfect. I went through all five stages in one day last week. My advisor sent an email and I cycled through denial ("it's fine"), anger ("she's wrong"), bargaining ("maybe if I add more sources"), depression ("I'm a fraud"), and acceptance ("okay I'll just fix it") in like 4 hours.