The dissertation is lonely. No one tells you that. Your friends don't understand why you're still "in school." Your family asks when you'll be done every single holiday. Your advisor is busy. It's just you and 200 pages of your own thoughts. I was struggling, not with the research, but with the isolation.
Then I started writing letters to myself.
Every Friday afternoon, I write a letter in my journal. Not a to-do list. Not a plan. Just a letter. It sounds ridiculous, but it helped.
Examples:
"Dear Future Me, This week was hard. Chapter 3 is a mess and I don't know how to fix it. But I did figure out that one citation problem, and I finally understand that theory from Smith. Small wins. Keep going."
Or on good weeks:
"Dear Future Me, REMEMBER THIS FEELING. Today, writing felt good. The words came. The argument clicked. This is why we do this. Save this feeling for the bad days."
When I have a terrible week (and there are many), I read old letters. I see that I've survived every hard week before. I see that progress happened, even when it didn't feel like it. I see that I've had good days and will have them again.
It's cheesy. I know. But it's my cheese. And it got me through.
If you're lonely in your dissertation, try writing to yourself. Be your own cheerleader. You're the only one who's with you the whole way.
Anyone else have weird coping mechanisms? Please share, I need more.
Then I started writing letters to myself.
Every Friday afternoon, I write a letter in my journal. Not a to-do list. Not a plan. Just a letter. It sounds ridiculous, but it helped.
Examples:
"Dear Future Me, This week was hard. Chapter 3 is a mess and I don't know how to fix it. But I did figure out that one citation problem, and I finally understand that theory from Smith. Small wins. Keep going."
Or on good weeks:
"Dear Future Me, REMEMBER THIS FEELING. Today, writing felt good. The words came. The argument clicked. This is why we do this. Save this feeling for the bad days."
When I have a terrible week (and there are many), I read old letters. I see that I've survived every hard week before. I see that progress happened, even when it didn't feel like it. I see that I've had good days and will have them again.
It's cheesy. I know. But it's my cheese. And it got me through.
If you're lonely in your dissertation, try writing to yourself. Be your own cheerleader. You're the only one who's with you the whole way.
Anyone else have weird coping mechanisms? Please share, I need more.
The loneliness of big projects is REAL. My capstone feels like a desert sometimes. Writing letters to myself sounds weirdly perfect. Like leaving breadcrumbs for future you so you don't get lost. I'm doing this starting today.
