I'm going to be really honest right now because I don't know where else to say this.
I'm in my sixth year of a PhD program. SIX. YEARS. I'm ABD, I have all my data, I know what my argument is, and I CANNOT. FINISH. WRITING.
Every day I sit down to work on my dissertation and every day I find something else to do. Dishes. Emails. Crying. Staring at the wall. Making spreadsheets of things that don't matter. Anything but writing. ✍
And lately I've been having this dark thought: what if I just... pay someone?? What if I find a service to buy a dissertation – like, just pay someone to write the damn thing so I can be DONE??
I know it's wrong. I know I'd be cheating myself and my degree and everything I've worked for. But I'm so TIRED. I'm 30 and broke and watching all my friends move on with their lives while I'm still stuck on this stupid document. My mental health is trash. My relationships are suffering. I just want it to be OVER.
Has anyone else felt this way?? Did you get through it?? How??
I'm not actually going to buy a dissertation (probably). But the fact that I'm even considering it scares me. I need to hear from people who made it through this stage. Tell me it gets better. Tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel.
Or tell me if you DID buy one and it worked out?? I'm judging but also... curious?? I don't even know anymore.
Please be kind. I'm fragile.
I'm in my sixth year of a PhD program. SIX. YEARS. I'm ABD, I have all my data, I know what my argument is, and I CANNOT. FINISH. WRITING.
Every day I sit down to work on my dissertation and every day I find something else to do. Dishes. Emails. Crying. Staring at the wall. Making spreadsheets of things that don't matter. Anything but writing. ✍
And lately I've been having this dark thought: what if I just... pay someone?? What if I find a service to buy a dissertation – like, just pay someone to write the damn thing so I can be DONE??
I know it's wrong. I know I'd be cheating myself and my degree and everything I've worked for. But I'm so TIRED. I'm 30 and broke and watching all my friends move on with their lives while I'm still stuck on this stupid document. My mental health is trash. My relationships are suffering. I just want it to be OVER.
Has anyone else felt this way?? Did you get through it?? How??
I'm not actually going to buy a dissertation (probably). But the fact that I'm even considering it scares me. I need to hear from people who made it through this stage. Tell me it gets better. Tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel.
Or tell me if you DID buy one and it worked out?? I'm judging but also... curious?? I don't even know anymore.
Please be kind. I'm fragile.
